


And Then

by shatterthefragments



Series: I'll Never Get My Happy Ending, Will I? [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depressed Sam, Gen, POV Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4532628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shatterthefragments/pseuds/shatterthefragments
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always something, "<em>and then</em>" following directly after.<br/>Kind of written in the anaphora style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Then

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings: This is not a happy story. **Sam is depressed and it reflects in his thoughts. At the end, there may be reason to believe Sam harbours suicidal thoughts though this is only vaguely implied** , however he does not do anything with them, nor mention suicide, so I left it untagged, but if you think it should be, leave me a comment below with how you think I should tag it.

 

_Life is always filled with "and then"s._

_Even more so for the Winchesters._

 

* * *

 

Finish up with Dean, after finding dad, and then I can go back to my life.  
   - _ **JESS!**_  
(Will everyone I ever love end up burning?)

 _Finish law school and then I can help people in a different way._  
   - But that was just the plan.   
(Can I never get out? _You're the one that chose to go with Dean after Jess died._ )

Finish the Yellow Eyed Demon and then the crusade for mother's revenge will finally be over.  
   - But then there was the apocalypse.  
(At least I wasn't the "Boy King".)

Finish putting Lucifer back in the cage and then everything will be over.  
   - But things never go the way they were intended to.  
(Just  _had_ to bring me out. Couldn't just leave me in there? I  **chose** it!)

Finish The Trials and then the world will be safe from demons.  
   - But it didn't happen, even if everyone would be better off.  
(The consequence was worth it. It will always be worth it.)

Finish the hunt "and then we can go to Disneyland!"  
   - A hope forgotten... or perhaps I just buried it deep within the recesses of my mind.  
(...I can hardly remember any dreams I had anymore.)

Finish off the monster and then leave the town.  
   - They never even knew the truth. Logically, I know it helps, but there are really only so few of us.  
(They can't protect themselves after we leave. I know why they can't know, but it would be beneficial to some.)

Finish the hunt and then move on to the next.  
   - That's all we were ever trained to do anyway.  
(Guess John got what he wanted out of us.)

Finish "the job" and then a new one crops up.  
   - But it seems that it's our fate to do this, no matter what happens.  
(I still don't know how to stop being angry all the time.)  
   (But I suppose it helps that I'm just too exhausted to do anything with that anger anyways.)

Finish... what is there left to finish? Finish living?  
       And then be brought back... with or without consent?  
             (There's nothing left for me but to keep going... to keep fighting against whatever comes up against us.)  
  
_After all, that is what Winchesters seem to end up doing, isn't it?  
             Fighting all the "and then"s that crop up after each last "and then"._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I hope you liked it.  
> (It was really weird writing in first person)


End file.
